Luca's Birth in Pictures (Part 1)

All photos were taken courtesy of www.maysaphotography.com

I feel like the photos really speak for themselves, so I offer no descriptions. You can read my birth story here.

the midwife difference

With my first two children, I had OB-GYNs. My daughter's birth was fantastic, because, honestly, I didn't know any better. My son's birth was a different story. I took Bradley birthing classes and I knew I wanted to go natural. My birth experience was a terrible one and I felt completely manipulated by my doctor.

When I found out that we were expecting our third child, I knew I wanted something different. I wanted an uninterrupted, natural, safe birth. Initially, I debated having an unassisted delivery because I was so fearful of losing control during labor. I wanted to make sure that I called the shots and that I was included in every decision. After much thought and consideration, I decided to exhaust my options to see how I felt. My husband is military and we have insurance through Tricare - which basically pays for any sort of obstetrical care. I decided to visit with an OB-GYN first.


I met with Dr. Erickson, who delivered my best friend's son over four years ago. I had been with her while she has visited with him, and his bedside manner was amazing. When I called to make an appointment, the woman on the phone was very nice and friendly and scheduled me for an ultrasound. It felt a little silly, considering I knew I was not very far along at all - but I was excited at the prospect of seeing any sort of tiny fleck of a baby.

I arrived at my appointment with my 2 kids in tow. The waiting room was extremely crowded, and there was not a single thing for my children to do. I was prepared for this and (mommy confession) had brought my 4-year-old's Nintendo DS for this reason. I had put my 19-month-old in a bucket and, though it prevented possible catastrophe, I also felt like it was blocking the path (and it was a tiny, umbrella stroller). I filled out an entire packet, filled with questions about my medical history. I felt like I was setting myself up for failure, having to fill out that my husband's mother's cousin was born with down syndrome 40 years ago. (Why did they need to know that?) After about 20 minutes or so, I was called back into the room to pee in a cup. Fitting into the restroom with my kids was a bit of a gymnastics event, but we were successful. I was then brought into the ultrasound room and told to undress from the bottom down so I could have a vaginal sonogram.

Let me tell you what, there's nothing like meeting a woman for the first time to have her put a lubed-up condom on a hard, plastic phallic shaped object into your vagina while your kid's watch.

she didn't even buy me dinner first.


I wish I could say the ultrasound was more exciting than it actually was. Truth be told, it was pretty anti-climatic. I'm not very far along, so there was no baby. No heartbeat. Just a cute little yolk sac where a baby will form given more time. It made me more scared than anything else. Should I be able to see a baby? What if there's no baby because I lost it, so it's not growing? what if, what if, what if. I felt they perpetuated unnecessary fear into my heart. Their response? They scheduled me for another ultrasound in 2 weeks. I couldn't say no. How could I? I want to make sure that my baby is okay and I can only make sure my baby is okay if I can see and hear a heartbeat. I'll be around 7 weeks when I go in again, so I should see something then. Right?!?!?!

After the ultrasound, I was punished and sent back to the waiting room again. I got to talking to a woman due in August, who was sweating up a storm because it was hotter than Hell. She was nice, but I was thankful when they called me back again because my son was sobbing hysterically because I told him "no" and I felt like, you know, the worst-mom-ever.

The nurse was there first and weighed me. I'm a naturally small person, and the scaled showed me that I gained 2 pounds. She assumed, "So - you haven't gained any weight yet?" I didn't know if that was an insult, but it felt like one. She took me back in the room and gave me a giant bag of stuff, including an Enfamil coupon (score!). She asked my LMP and I told her there's no way for me to estimate, but I knew my conception date. She didn't write it down. She told me to get naked (what is it with these people?) and that the doctor would be in to see me in a moment.

At least the gown was comfortable. My doctor and nurse came in and shook my hand. He asked my kids' names and their ages. Asked me about their birth. He then began his exam and when I mentioned I wanted a natural birth, he began the breast exam. As he felt for lumps, he said, "so you like the natural stuff, huh?" No, "yeah, we're okay with that" just a simple acknowledgment that he heard what I said. He wouldn't even lie to me and tell me that he loved natural birth. He did say, "with the third, it will be easier." K. He asked me about breastfeeding, and I said I bottle-fed my first and breastfed my second. He said, "So you tried everything out. That's good. You know your options." I didn't tell him that I was still breastfeeding. It felt weird. He then begin the pelvic exam and I told him that I hated this part. He told me, "yeah, you're not suppose to like it!" He was quick, and when he did my cervical exam - it didn't hurt. After he was done, he spoke with my children. All in all, he was pretty nice for an OB.

I called the midwives from Beyond Conception Midwifery as soon as I got home. I had been a doula at a birth that they attended, and I loved their attitude throughout the entire event. When I spoke with Nedra, one of the midwives, on the phone - I felt like I was talking to an old friend. Which, in a way, I was - because she remembered me from the birth we were both at! She asked me to come in the next day and she insisted I bring my children with.

The kids and I found their office and I couldn't believe how beautiful it was. It was surrounded by waterfalls. No, seriously. Waterfalls. When I walked in, I immediately saw a ton of wooden toys for the kids to play with. Mary, the other midwife, greeted me right away and gave me a photo album to look at while I waited. It was full of pictures from the 80s - and it was really neat to see that she's been in practice for so long. After waiting about 5 minutes, Nedra called me back into another room - where they had even more toys to keep my kids entertained.

Nedra inquired about my due date. She asked if I knew when I conceived and I said yes, and she said, "Right now, we'll use that. We trust moms when they say they know." She initially asked if I didn't know because I was still breastfeeding? First and foremost, I love the fact that someone assumed I was nursing my 19-month-old. I explained my situation more, but also mentioned, "Yeah, I'm still nursing." Her response? "Awesome!"

She asked me if I had any questions - and I told her I didn't have questions, but that I had requests. She listened with sympathy and concern when I told her the perils of my past birth experiences. She even watched my son when my daughter interrupted me mid-conversation and asked to use the potty. When we returned and I said, "My mother wants to catch the baby" Nedra said, "Right on. Is that what you want?" I explained how my biggest concern was not that my birth went as planned from point A to point B - but that I had a say in what happened. That I was treated like a person, not a patient. Mary came in at this point and told me, "this is your birth experience. We're simply there if you need a guiding hand. We don't pull or push." I couldn't believe how intently they listened to me. As Nedra and I discussed other concerns that I had, Mary showed Hayden how to listen to her brother's heartbeat with a stethoscope. They did not do a single exam. I told them I had just come from the OB's office and they said, "I'm sure you've been poked and prodded enough." They knew that I had 2 kids with me, so they sent me home with paperwork that I could bring back at my next visit. Mary, Nedra, and their assistant - Amy, all hugged me goodbye. Mary blew up 2 balloons for the kids when we left, and even told Hayden that "pink is an excellent color for boys!" when she insisted Vincent get a rosy-colored one.

I got home and opened up their packet, excited to fill it out. The paperwork was... different. It went over medical history, of course. They want to make sure that I am a good candidate for home delivery. However, it also asked me how I felt. How my husband felt. What about my family? They asked me what I wanted of them, as midwives? Just filling out the paperwork made me feel like I was in control. What really stood out to me is when Nedra asked me, "Is that what YOU want?" She asked my permission to let my mother catch the baby. She asked my permission.

I want them at my birth. I need them at my birth. My husband is going to be deployed around my due date, and I know that any extra support is a good thing.

And I am so happy that I found it with these women.

Rest easy, little baby bump. You're in good hands

*** my lovely friend and soon-to-be doula client, Sarah, posted a lovely comparison of OBs and Midwives over at her blog. You can read the post HERE

and my doula client (who had a beautiful homebirth attended by Mary and Nedra) wrote about her first meeting with them at her blog, found HERE ***

L's birth story - the homebirth that made me a doula

L called me at 4pm to tell me that her water had broken 15 minutes earlier. I had been anticipating attending my first birth for certification and was surprised at how calm I felt when she called. She told me she wasn't having any contractions yet, but her first two labours happened really quickly - so I decided to leave my house fairly soon. I made a fast stop at the gas station to pick up some crackers and water and then made my way towards L's house.

I arrived shortly after 6pm and was greeted by L and her husband. She introduced me to her sister-in-law, who would also be witnessing the birth (and who was 32 weeks pregnant herself!) L still wasn't having contractions and was actually in the middle of making dinner. She had told me many times that she felt as if she'd give birth at night and the sun was still up in the air. We also joked that hopefully the baby was going to let her eat dinner first. I asked her if she wanted to take a walk to get things moving, but she was concerned about leaking amniotic fluid. I then suggested she sit down and save her strength, but she said she felt like moving. She seemed very restless.

L (on the right) with her sister-in-law

As we all sat down to eat, L's contractions began to start coming more regularly. Her sister-in-law began to time them, and they were about every 10 minutes apart. L was still able to talk through them, but she said their intensity was increasing. We all went upstairs at that point to ready L's bedroom for the birth. We laid down shower curtains over her bed and we put plastic sheets down on the floor. I helped put some extra air in her birth pool and L changed into more comfortable attire. She was still joking around, saying she put on a skirt for “easy access!”

Around 8.30pm, L's contractions were about 5 minutes apart. When she sat on the toilet, she said she felt a lot of pressure but seemed anxious about how quickly things were picking up. I suggested she sit on the birth ball, but she said she didn't want things to move too fast. She was holding back because her husband was still putting their daughters to bed and the midwives weren't there yet. I asked her if she wanted to go on her hands and knees because her midwife had suggested it to turn a posterior baby, but she didn't stay in the position too long. She said her body was telling her to walk, so that is what she did. Around 9pm, her husband came into the room and L called the midwives who were a block away. She asked me how dilated I thought she'd be, and I guessed 5cm and that labour would move very quickly once her midwives were here.

One of the midwives checks the baby's heart rate

The midwives arrived very shortly after that and set up all of their things. L was still smiling and laughing and able to ease through her contractions. She was doing wonderfully and I mentioned many times how she was a "pro." When the midwives checked her, she was at 5cm. I was right! After some paperwork, the midwives went downstairs and L's labour picked up. She had to stop moving during her contractions and would embrace her husband in the slow dancing position. During this time, she said she felt like she had to eat and asked for some of the peanut butter cookies I had brought. I also recommended some fluids. She drank some Gatorade, but she wasn't too interested in eating. She went to use the bathroom again and labour really seemed to intensify after she returned. She was moaning quietly and really focusing on her husband during her rushes. I admit, I felt a little bit like a bother at first. I was concerned about annoying her. I remember asking her questions, but she just wanted to walk and be with her husband. It seemed like such an intimate experience, so I sat on the bed and remained as a bystander. I didn't want to interrupt the connection she was sharing with her husband and I figured I'd know when she really needed me to be by her side as well. During this time, the pool was filled up per L's request. The midwife came up to check her again and said she was still 5cm but a little more effaced. I asked her if she felt discouraged because she had said, "I'm still 5cm?" She said not really, which I thought was great. She was keeping a positive attitude. The midwives didn't want L in the pool just yet but suggested she lay on her left side for a few contractions. She got in bed with her husband in front of her and I came up behind her to apply counter-pressure to her back. I've never had a work-out quite like it! I thought I was pushing so hard I'd hurt her, but after one of the contractions she said it felt good - but asked me not to ease up any. I mentioned how I had amniotic fluid all over my legs and L seemed apologetic. I told her I brought a change of clothes and the last thing she needed to worry about was me! L was still in a pretty good mood, relaxing in between rushes. Her moaning was getting progressively louder though and after about 3 contractions, the midwives' assistant came up and said L could get in the pool. She wanted to use the restroom first and her husband went with her. I could hear her moaning and groaning and I had a feeling things were going to change very quickly. L removed most of her clothing and soon got in the tub. I took off my socks and rolled up my pants and L's husband asked if I was going to get in the pool. I shrugged and said, "You never know." I figured I might as well and be prepared. I didn't need it though. L did fabulous. She was in a zone and wasn't really able to answer any questions, so I did my best to just try and guess what she needed. She was sitting on her legs in the pool, leaning forward to face her husband. I tried to pour water over her back in-between contractions and I applied counter-pressure to her lower back during rushes. Her pain was more immense now, so I knew she wouldn't be able to tell me if what I was doing was helpful or not. In early labour, she seemed to appreciate the pressure on her lower back, so I decided to stick with that. I remember looking up a few times to see her husband (who was directly in front of me, across the pool) and we'd smile at each other. Though we didn't speak, I know we were both basking in how amazing L was doing. The midwives came in a few times and I had to adjust my position to let them monitor the baby's heart tone. I was appreciative how non-invasive they were. I knew to respect their presence, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much they respected mine! L was extremely focused on her labour now and not able to speak very much. She made a lot of moans and groans. I had been really good at taking pictures up to that point, but I knew I couldn't leave her. I asked her sister-in-law if she wouldn't mind snapping a few, and she said sure. L's sister-in-law was a wonderful help. The midwives soon came to check L again, and asked her to go onto her back. L didn't seem thrilled with this, but she moved. The midwives said she was 8cm. I tried to get L to sip some Gatorade, but she still wasn't too interested in drinking. The midwives tried to move L back into the position she was in before, but she was in the middle of a contraction and resisted being moved. I went to the other side of the birth pool so I could be at L's side. I went to apply pressure at her hip, and I was surprised when she grabbed my hand. I tried my best to put some force against her side with one hand while holding her hand with my other. I was surprised at how easily I could tell she was in transition. She was quivering and trembling and made a few moans that sounded like cries. I mouthed to one of the midwives, "Transition?" and she nodded. I tried to rub L's hand to relax it because I knew her contractions would feel (slightly) better if she were completely relaxed. I remembering make "shhhh" noises. Not to shush her, but I caught myself trying to mimic ocean waves. I turned to a few people to mention how great she was doing.

Transition

The midwives had asked L earlier if she was more concerned about her perineum being intact or giving birth in the water. Since she had two previous tears and the baby's heart rate was dropping, the midwives (hearing her noises) told her she needed to get into the bed. I thought L was going to sprint from the pool! After her contraction was over, she jumped out of the water and a few of us tried to dry her off with towels as she ripped off her top and went to lay down on the bed (later she told us she just didn't want to have another contraction before she got to her bed). Her husband was on her left side and no one was on her right. During her entire labour, L was doing so great I caught myself wondering what my place was. I can't describe my feelings exactly, but I knew I had to be next to her. I went and sat at her other side and was surprised to see how intensely she focused on me. I used one hand to brush her hair back and L gripped my other arm. I didn't realize it until I got home later, but I had scratch marks! I didn't (and still don't) mind, though. The midwives were concerned about the baby and their assistant handed me an oxygen tube and told me to cup it over L's nose. She did not like this, but I did my best to make her comfortable while still following the midwives' instructions. L was extremely instinctual at this time and I was surprised when the midwife proclaimed loudly, "I need you to pay attention to me now!" They were trying their best to keep her perineum intact while delivering the baby quickly. The midwife told L to push, and she said, "I am pushing!" They then suggested that she grunt a little bit. L screamed as the baby crowned, but after the head was out - everything was pretty quiet. The midwives moved the cord out from under the baby's neck and I remember telling L that he was almost here. That her baby had a full head of hair! I told her, "You did it!" I'm not sure if she heard me or not, but I told her how amazing she was. Then, with about 2 more big pushes, her son was placed on her stomach.

Baby is here!

I actually moved out of the way fairly quickly after that to allow the midwives more space to check out mom and baby. I also wanted to let her and her husband enjoy their son as much as possible. I heard L ask, "Is he okay? Is he okay?" He wasn't crying yet and I am sure the urgency of her delivery made her a little concerned. Her midwife assured her the baby was fine, and then he let out a nice big cry. The happiness in the room was palpable and I noted "What a perfect song to be born to," as I heard the stereo. It was the song, "Calling All Angels."

L and her husband were so engrosssed in their son, it was amazing to watch. The midwives joked at what a long cord the baby had and how, "he was probably jump-roping in there!" I gathered my camera back from L's sister-in-law (who was such a great help!) and snapped a few shots. The baby looked great and nursed soon after that. L had breastfed 2 babies before him, so I tried to stay out of the way. I asked her if she needed any help, but she said she was fine. The baby latched soon after that. After mom and baby were acquainted, the midwife took the little guy and weighed and measured him. I helped clean up during this time and the other midwife asked me if I had any questions. They were so nice to me. She filled out my doula form and gave me top marks!

Hanging with his mama while she pushes out her placenta




Being measured


Look at all that hair!

I hung around for a little while after that, gathering things and taking a few more photos. After L and her husband seemed a little more settled, I decided to leave. Her sister-in-law was still there and so were the midwives. I felt she was in great hands. I told her I was going and told her to call me if she needed anything. I remember her telling me, "Thank you for the counter-pressure!" which made me smile in a silly way. I told her, once again, that she did fabulous and I got my things packed up. As I was going out the door, I heard the midwives say, "Where did she go? Oh! There she is!" They gave me their card and told me to call so they could match me up with clients of theirs.

All the birth support. The two midwives on the left, L's husband, and then me on
the right (I'm the one with the doula shirt, duh! - actually, when L's 3-year-old
daughter greeted me, she said, "Your mommy's doula!")

As I walked back to my car, I couldn't believe how proud I felt. Not of myself, but of L. She really did act like a pro. They say that women who watch another woman birth will often produce similar love hormones as the labouring mother. I felt elated. I can't even begin to express my gratitude towards L. I feel so honoured that she allowed me to take part in her birth.

Baby T
April 1st, 2009
7lbs 8oz

You can read L's version of her birth story HERE

and she made a slideshow of the photos I gave her HERE